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slap a hoe

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(no subject) [Nov. 11th, 2005|09:18 pm]
slap a hoe
why hello friends...

i know i've been missing for a while. and my phone is disconnected which is like OHH so perfect.

i was just writing to say that i miss rhiannon... and nina... and kathryn... so so much.

do you know the feeling that if you don't see someone who knows you... and i mean KNOWS you... that you will go crazy?

that's the thing about hanging out mostly with people who have only known you for like 6 to 9 months i guess. but hey.... they're great people.

i'm a little bit sick. gettng better i guess though. going to augusta this weekend... woohooo.

never did i think that after 9 months i would still miss justin. ohh well. we do the best we can.

love to all...

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WHY HELLO [Jul. 28th, 2005|12:26 am]
slap a hoe
...so... sup dudes and dudettes...

soooo... here's what's been going on with me...

1) i've been making my amends... a quite humiliating and yet equally rewarding task... buuut if anything it at least gives me a valid reason to see all of the people that i love and miss.
2) i'm putting in my 2 weeks notice at atlanta bread this friday!!... so i can go back to kennesaw. i'm taking statistics with my wonderful friend karen that i love and adore.
3)i finished fast food nation, and haven't eaten meat since... that was 4 weeks ago. i do not claim to be a vegitarian... i'm just too disgusted to eat meat right now... maybe i will in another month or so... and maybe not. for now i'm happy though b/c it makes me drop like an extra pound a week and you can't argue with that.
4) i'm still not talking to justin. it's been roughly 6 months now... weird, eh? that's totally not like us. i wrote him an amends letter about a month ago and he replied through rhiannon. we are on good terms. he sounds like he's doing very well. i think we've both grown a lot.
5) i've read 6 books this past month. it turns out i really love reading. especially books about politics or socioeconomics... i even like the republican ones!!! big shocker, even for me.
6) i miss everyone a lot... especially 3 young ladies by the names of rhiannon, nina and kathryn... i'm in a very lonely place right now... and i don't really have many convenient times to talk to people... but eh oh well.
7) i am the meeting chair for my homegroup through the month of august!! yay for involved emily.

...anywho... i'm alive. lost my cell phone for a few weeks, but now it's unlost... so... yay
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(no subject) [Jun. 22nd, 2005|09:42 pm]
slap a hoe
if i've ever met you in my entire life...

then i've probably got some amends to make.

hook a sister who wants to stay sober up, and send me a mailing address or tell me when i can get together with you or SOMETHING.

please. it would help.

life is good. and work gets you in shape... you can actually tell wheremy butt ends andmy legs begin. it's cool.

and my new friends are the shit <3
so are my old ones.
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(no subject) [Jun. 9th, 2005|03:03 am]
slap a hoe
i can't sleep...
so here's what i'm listening to these days...
..the playlist i have on right now on my ipod...

1. all-time quarterback- dinner at eight in the suburbs
2. aqueduct- the suggestion box
3. beck- girl
4. ben kweller- make it up
5. bright eyes- lover i don't have to love
6. coldplay- speed of sound
7. death cab for cutie- coney island
8. the decemberists- the bachelor and the bride
9. the elected- go on
10. elliott smith- a fond farewell
11. the flaming lips- it's summertime
12. grandaddy- am 180
13. imogen heap- goodnight and go
14. interpol- untitled
15. jimmy eat world- work
16. modest mouse- paper thin walls
17. nada surf- happy kid
18. neutral milk hotel- tuesday moon
19. patrick park- your smile's a drug
20. pixies- winterlong
21. postal service- nothing better (styrofoam remix)
22. the shins- we will become silhouettes
23. radiohead-planet telex
24. wilco- hell is chrome

*shrug* i have gone music crazy this past month. eh so i know none of you care but the excellent thing about livejournal is i can post it anyways!!
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(no subject) [Jun. 5th, 2005|11:21 pm]
slap a hoe
"i'd like to hire a plane,
i'd see you in the morning.
when the day is fresh
i'm coming home again."

...it's been 4 months and i'm still thinking about the same person.... boo me.

BUT in other happier news...
I'm doing really well. Cleaned out my car. Shower regularly. Visit my mom a lot. Pray for strength a LOT...

I am becoming this whole new person...
I feel like I used to... like when I went to phoenix. I mean I feel really confident and brand new. Like no one has ever touched me or hurt me before. Like I've never hurt anyone before.

I rocked out in my livingroom for the first time since highschool. That used to be an everyday event. I feel like singing really bad karaoke or taking photographs of mulletts.... I watched a sunset this morning. I feel guilty when I gossip. I still do it... but I feel really bad about it now.

I like what is happening to me. I wish my friends were with me so I could share it with them. I wish this was the me that they saw, instead of the me that I have been. I wish I could tell Justin not to worry, because I am so much better. I hope this energy doesn't go away.

...I know this entry was lame. please forgive me. I miss people.
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what the hell has been going on... [Apr. 26th, 2005|10:31 pm]
slap a hoe
Ok so here's the real update... the one I have been putting off.

So... I went to rehab on February 8th... because I was feeling moderately suicidal...b/c I had just turned into a really fucked up person and I hated myself a whole lot. I stayed there, inpatient for 3 weeks, outpatient for 4 more, and then I moved into this halfway house and I live with 5 other girls who are all pretty ,uch going through the same "transition" or whatever the fuck you wanna call it.

I am feeling a lot better. For one thing, I have sort of come to grips with some of the shitty stuff I've done. I have come to terms with the fact that I was just really confused, and that I wasn't a bad person, I just did some bad things. And now I can fix them and make sure that they don't happen again. I mean it isn't enough I guess but it's all I can do, right?

I'm currently working 2 jobs and volunteering at Must Ministries, I also go to one to three AA meetings every day, 3 house meetings a week, and 2 therapies a week... so if you don't get to see me, please don't think I don't love you... I am just trying really hard to make this time count so I don't ever have to go to rehab #3.

I have a lot of new friends and they are awesome and it is SO nice to meet people with the same struggles and insecurities that I have. Of course I still have my old friends too... I sort of fucked up with some of them and we are all working through it. It's hard, but such is life I suppose. Neal and Jeff are still my favorite boys, I speak to Carissa a lot, Kathryn and I text, and I hope to see Ninahead and Rhiannon on my 21st birthday, or at least around then b/c it's only 10 DAYS AWAY!!! And b/c I miss everyone ohh so terribly much.

I have a sponsor and she is amazing. She listens to my music <3 and she's just the smartest person ever. Plus we have a lot of the same beliefs which is cool. But I feel like my life is really going somewhere, and like when I get all of this intensive shit out of the way that I might actually be somewhat happy, and not so freaking passive agressive or scared or such a liar. But I alreadyfeel 10 times better than I did before even last week.

I hope everyone is well.
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(no subject) [Apr. 22nd, 2005|06:36 pm]
slap a hoe
i don't know which is worse, living 2 months in rehab with crazy people, or living here, in this house, with a bunch of diehard republicans.

every day i feel like i'm talking to gus galdo.

[i'm sorry. i try not to be politically intolerant, i just have failed so far]
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(no subject) [Apr. 11th, 2005|12:40 am]
slap a hoe
i'm out of rehab... yay
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well... [Jan. 23rd, 2005|02:46 pm]
slap a hoe
i'm back for a sec. this past month has been really interesting because i have thought a lot about my friends, and my family, and my life, and who i want to be and how to get there.

if you are one of the following people:
nina wolverton
kristin barwick
amanda garvin
kathryn brogdon
rhiannon owen
my sister
kyle stanford
amanda pennell
chris vanacker
megan sikes

...then you should email me @ esj5934@students.kennesaw.edu with your address because i have something i want to send to you... something good.

..and if anyone has an email for stacy whittamore or adrienne morehead i'd like that too.
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(no subject) [Dec. 11th, 2004|09:50 pm]
slap a hoe

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

PUHLEASE. I am not emotional...
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